The Blessing of Friendship

Friends are people who usually have mutual interests or mutual problems or similar needs and issues. We often spend a great deal of time with folks that we call 'friend', attending to many of those mutual interests or problems or needs or issues.

I knew a fellow in junior high school. We were not really friends, that is, we did not share many mutual friends, we did not live close by one another, we were not on the same academic or social level. The only thing that we shared in common was baseball. We played on the same school team from 8th grade through high school. He was not a great athlete but was good enough to play a lot and often was a starter. I, on the other hand, was always a back-up and never a starter.

His name was Mike and he was always very friendly to me. He was always inclusive when I was around him and his more popular friends. He never left me out.

Upon graduation from high school, Mike attended the University of Washington. He began a military career that has been his life since he left high school. He has commanded large numbers of soldiers in and out of combat. He has been named to organize extremely important secret military operations in two major military campaigns. He has worked on the battlefield, on military bases and he has even worked at the White House with Presidents.

I was given a College Deferment and was made exempt from military service. I attended college and took up a career in music education and performance. It very rarely ever occurred to me that there were people that were keeping our country safe and free. My life was never in danger (that I know of!!)and I have never really and honestly rescued someone in real distress.

Mike, on the other hand, rose to the rank of Lieutenant-Colonel. He worked in Special-Ops. He led huge groups of men in battle. He is now the National Executive Director of Young Marines. He works as a CEO-type of military man, traveling all over the country presenting awards and giving speeches to young kids who are involved in chapters of ROTC-type groups.

At my 40th high school reunion, two years ago, I had the chance to visit with Mike. I was reminded how popular he had been in school: starting center on the football team, a guard on the basketball team and an outfielder on the baseball team; he sang in the choir and he earned an ROTC scholarship to UW. He was a fine student. But again, he included me as if we had been very close friends. When we parted the night of the reunion, Mike told me to 'keep in touch' and that if I needed anything, to call him. Of course, what was he going to do?? He lives in Falls Church, Virginia!!

But I took him at his word. I emailed him last December to ask if he would be willing to fly out to the West Coast to represent the United States Marine Corps in a concert I was producing. I explained that there would be no money to pay for his flight; no money to pay for lodging or any other expenses. And his part in the concert was going to be completed in about forty minutes. I knew he would not do it, but it gave me a chance to 'keep in touch' and it gave us something to talk about.

He told me, "I would be proud to come out and represent the Marine Corps and even prouder to participate in an endeavor such as this for you." He told me not to worry about the expenses, that he would find a way to write it off and that the trip would give him a chance to see his Mom and other relatives.

The concert was wonderful and his part was extraordinary! The question that I have is this: Are Mike and I friends? How could we be? We hadn't spoken nor seen each other in well over forty years. We had nothing in common other than our shared baseball experiences when we were just boys.

Our families were totally different. My family was very dis-functional and a bit whacky. I think his family was pretty well-disciplined. His brother is a Brigadier General in the USMC and Mike is a retired Lieutenant-Colonel. In fact, if I remember correctly, Mike's wife, Kim is in the Marines. He has been around and worked with some of the most influential people in the world. Yet he wrote the following to me after the concert:

"Dear Pat: Listen, the pleasure was truly all mine and I thank you for the opportunity to be a part of something so very special . . . Moreover, it's refreshing to see classmates not only do well in their respective vocations, but to see them having fun doing it. You are a real professional in the same sense that I remember both Frank DeMeiro and Mr. Al (our hs choral directors). You should be very proud, I know I am!!

I guess we are friends. I guess that I should simply accept his congratulations and do as he suggests--be proud! However, the pride that I really feel is in the fact that Mike Kessler, Lieutenant-Colonel and war hero is a friend of mine. I truly hope that I can be as good a friend to him as he has been to me!